in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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