Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
