I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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