We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
