another moral hangover. fuck.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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