oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
