Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
