i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize