Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
