I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
