i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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