I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I AM VODKA MAN
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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