What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
