I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
