The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
