aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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