there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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