ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize