I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Pants are for mortals
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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