drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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