i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize