I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
