We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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