I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
