Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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