im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Who died my cat blue again?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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