yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
