how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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