Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
