Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
