If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
