he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
