U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
someone threw a dead crab at me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
