I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
