i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
