Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
