yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it was like eating out sand paper
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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