How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
