Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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