Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
