guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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