You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My ass is underappreciated
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
