is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
