So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
