my phone needs a breathalizer
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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