so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
