If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
