The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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