As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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