dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
