I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
