I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
