I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
