you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
