maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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