cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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