Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
