Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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