I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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