I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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