I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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