Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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